"

I could talk about the PE teacher in my town who was asked to resign due to his harassment of female students, who was then hired as a school bus driver for a rural route with both primary and high school students. I could talk about how, from the age of seven, I refused to wear skirts or dresses, and from the time I entered high school at 10 to when I moved at 16 I always wore bike shorts or CCC shorts under my dress, because he was not particularly subtle about the way he looked at us – and those bus steps are high. I could talk about how this was common knowledge and was never denied by any authority figure we ever raised it with, but rather we were just kind of brushed off. I could talk about how, sometimes, I was the last person on my bus in the afternoon and I was never quite sure if something bad would happen to me, even though for a long time I probably couldn’t have articulated what it was that I feared.

I could talk about how I spent ten years of my childhood believing it was perfectly normal and acceptable for a seven year old child to stop wearing her favourite clothes because a grown man she relies on to get to and from school from a relatively remote location gets a thrill from looking up her skirt.

I could talk about the art teacher at my high school who used to run his hands up and down our backs, right along the spot where your bra sits. Considering most of us were fairly new to wearing bras in the first place, this was a decidedly uncomfortable experience. I could talk about how he used to get just a little too close for comfort in the supply room. Nothing overt, nothing nameable – just enough to make you drag someone else along with you if you needed a fresh piece of paper or you ran out of ink. I could talk about how the odd comment or complaint that was made was completely handwaved, that we were told to be very careful about what we were saying, that we could get someone in a lot of trouble by “starting those kinds of rumours”, and did we really want to be responsible for that?

I could talk about the first time I was made to feel ashamed of my body, at twelve or thirteen, getting into a water fight with my stepfather and uncle in the height of summer. I could talk about my grandmother completely flipping out, talking about how disgusting it was, how grown men should be ashamed of the way they were behaving with a girl. I could talk about how she then spent the next few hours trying to convince me I was being somehow victimised, while I was mostly confused about what had taken place – it took me a long time to work it out. I could talk about the unvoiced but ever-present fear for months afterwards that my grandma would bring it up again, that she would bring it up in the wrong place or to the wrong people and that my uncle, a schoolteacher, would suffer for it.

I could talk about how that destroyed what had been a fantastic relationship with my uncle, and how, ten years later, he still won’t hug me at Christmas.

I could talk about being called a frigid bitch and a slut in the same breath in high school. I could talk about multiple instances of sitting in a big group of friends, hearing someone trying to get into someone else’s pants, starting off sweet enough but quickly descending into emotional manipulation and thinly veiled abuse. I could talk about the time I went off with someone willingly enough and being followed by someone I considered a friend, someone who would not leave no matter how many times I said “no”, who only went away when the person I was with said that he “didn’t feel like sharing”.

I could talk about the family friend who always made me feel a little bit off for no discernible reason. The one who if I was left alone in the room with him, I would always find an excuse to leave. The one time I expressed this, I was told I was being a drama queen, and that I needed to grow up and stop being so precious, that one day I was going to have to deal with people I didn’t like and I might as well get used to it. I could talk about how he never did anything untoward, never gave me any specific reason to feel unsafe – but years after I last saw him, when he was found guilty of four historical sexual assault charges, one of rape and three of indecent assault on girls under twelve, I was, for reasons I still don’t entirely understand, completely unsurprised.

I could talk about my boyfriend justifying his rape of me with “you could have fought me off if you really wanted you, you slut”. I could talk about how, when I tried to tell people, I was told I was being a nasty, spiteful, vindictive bitch. I could talk about how selfish it was of me to say such things, that he’d overcome such a hard life and was going to go on and make something of himself, who the hell was I to try and stand in his way?

I could talk about how my response to being raped was to sleep with anyone and everyone because I rationalised that if I never said no, then no one could force me. I could talk about how I have been told time and time again, by people who should know better, that this is a sign that I wasn’t really raped at all.

I could talk about how, when I finally worked up the courage to make a formal complaint of sexual harassment against my boss, I was asked why I had let it continue for so long, and what I had done to make him think his behaviour would be welcomed.

I could talk about how when a much later boss got me completely wasted at my leaving party, to the point where I couldn’t walk, and fucked me in a back alley, he waited until I was sober the next morning to tell me that he had a pregnant wife, because he heard through the grapevine that I was very strict about not sleeping with married people or straight women, and he thought I should “learn my place” and realise that I’m “not such a high and mighty bitch with a moral high ground after all”.

I could talk about these things, but I very rarely do. Since I was seven years old, I have been told that my body is not my own, that my consent is not my own, that my feelings of discomfort are not my own. I have taught myself to suppress my gut instinct upon meeting people. I have been taught to smile, to be polite, to suck it up if I feel unsafe. When I complain, I have been told I’m being irrational, oversensitive, and selfish. The underlying message is, how dare I try and ascertain any kind of control over my own body?

I should talk about it. But I don’t actually know whether I can.

"

- An anonymous guest post on The Lady Garden. This is the reality for so many women. #YesAllWomen (via takealookatyourlife)

(via hellasterek)

4 days ago 7,232 notes

Diversity is More Than a Bra Size: What It's Like to Be a Woman with a Disability in the Lingerie Industry | The Lingerie Addict | Lingerie For Who You Are

hmasfatty:

disabilityfashionproject:

Today’s guest post is by the founder of one of my favorite lingerie brands – Catherine Clavering of Kiss Me Deadly. Catherine started Kiss Me Deadly after her disability made it difficult for her to work in her chosen profession of psychology. Here, she shares what it’s like to have an invisible disability in the lingerie industry.

I recently went and got a proper bra fitting done, so I’ve been looking for recommendations for good bras (I was wearing the wrong size before, obviously. Now I’m wearing the right size and my boobs look and feel amazing. Uh, in case you were wondering).

My research led me to this post over at thelingerieaddict's blog, and got me thinking about some of the issues facing disabled/chronically ill people when choosing bras/underwear. (There’s also this post, which deals specifically with buying bras with Fibromyalgia)

I had a really good experience with the assistant who fitted me, the shop and fitting rooms were accessible and I don’t have any additional needs such as issues with dexterity or pain to consider when choosing a bra, but as the above article (and the comments underneath) shows, there are a multitude of considerations when choosing underwear if you’re disabled/chronically ill.

If this applies to you, what are some of the solutions you’ve found? Bras with front fastenings? Super comfy bras which don’t irritate your skin/cause pain? Knickers which don’t dig in when you’re sitting down all day or which can accommodate colostomy bags etc? The possibilities are endless and I’d be really interested to hear about any problems you’ve faced and any solutions you may have!

Thought this might be relevant to quite a few of you.

I was going to be all “I don’t PERSONALLY have trouble with underwear because of my disabilities” but then I was thinking about it & like…I very rarely wear bras with hook closures these days but when I do my persistent tremor makes them difficult to do up. And my heightened sensitivity due to nuero pain means that I’m now super sensitive to seams & tags & other stabby scratchy things. And on days when I get completely overwhelmed by ~*everything*~ Robyn has to help me take off my binder because it’s too hard for me to perform the contortions necessary to do it myself.

Thanks to the combined powers of my fatness, my gender, my disabilities & my socio-economic situation I have one brand each of top & bottom underwear that I can wear. My underpants are the men’s plus size boxer briefs from Target (they have ONE style & they only come in maroon & navy) and I wear a crop-top style sports bra from Big W that’s 3 sizes too small for me as a binder (again, there’s only one option - available in black, white & grey. I forget the actual brand on the label). If either of those companies stop making those products I’m SCREWED.

We tried to find a bra for my partner a few months back & had to drive nearly 2 hours each way to find a shop that MIGHT (but didn’t) have something that would fit her. For a pair of cripples it was just too much - we had to try the trip twice because we got too exhausted the first time before we even got to the shop. As much as I hate the idea of online shopping for a bra I think we’re going to have to because there are just no options for us here & even if there were they’re not accessible to us.

(via disabilityfashionproject)

1 week ago 96 notes

(via lisaquestions)

1 week ago 138,999 notes

Attention-!

bunbunbattlebot:

Someone I care a lot about culinarycourtesan is in a pretty dire situation as to money right now, because of various extra costs lately, they’ll lose their apartment very soon without help!

You can donate to Paypal account under dusk_moon@hotmail.com

If you can’t donate, please please boost. Time is short.

(via comfemgem)

1 week ago 124 notes

eridonampora:

shadowstep-of-bast:

notanotaku101:

Guys please get this out there. I don’t know if anyone’s posted about this yet, but DO NOT try and make those diy crystals!

someone needs to put these people down holy shit

I don’t always reblog stuff like this, but this is just a really strong reminder that you should never trust anything you read without making absolutely SURE you are double checking authenticity.  Not only is taking everything you read on tumblr or any website at face value really gullible, but it could save your life.  

Don’t wait until you see posts like this to start protecting yourself.  The fact that you shouldn’t mix ammonia and bleach is fairly common knowledge that a lot of people still aren’t aware of, but it’s as simple as typing “ammonia and bleach” into google, and you’re instantly met with 1.9 MILLION links on why you SHOULDN’T do it.  

You can’t stop morons who think they’re hilarious for tricking uninformed innocents by making awful DIY’s like this (beyond reporting them to the police, because you can get in some real serious trouble for pulling a stunt like this, but even then the damage has usually already been done), but you CAN protect yourself by being smart about it and doing your research.   

(via starsandradfems)

2 weeks ago 82,918 notes

http://prairie-grass.tumblr.com/post/90153277035/amarx17-hey-guys-im-gian-and-im-in-a-bit-of

amarx17:

Hey guys. I’m Gian and I’m in a bit of a frumpy spot.

So I have Ph+ ALL, a leukaemia that is currently kicking my arse to Mars and back. I recently just got diagnosed for the second time and it’s been incredibly resistant to everything they’ve been throwing at it.

Normally I’m a…

3 weeks ago 2,143 notes

grrrls-fighting-back:

"My name is Michael Hunter. I was diagnosed with leukemia in June 2013 & was told on June 11, 2014 that I only have a few months left to live if I can’t find a donor. Please help me with my biological family or a donor match! I was born in Columbus, OH 3/1/1985 at Doctor’s North Hospital and given the name Christopher Brown. Please share"

Michael is a friend, I’m asking that you all take the time to share this. He desperately needs a bone marrow donor and there is very limited number of African American donors. Without a donor Michael is going to die.

Michael was adopted and does not know his birth family. We know he has a half brother but have no information about him.

He does not specifically need an African American Donor but because of all of the things that factor into finding a match (blood type, dna tissue etc.) , someone of similar descent is more likely to be a closer match.

If anyone knows anything about Michael’s birth family or if you would like to see if you are a match, please privately message me. I can put you in touch with him and his caregivers directly!

We hope through spreading awareness we can either find his birth family whom he does not know or find a donor match. Michael lives in the Cincinnati, OH area. Please dont just like this or scroll past. Please share this! You could save his life!

(via womyn-inherits-the-earth-deacti)

1 month ago 54,647 notes

hheath541:

Apple download - https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/aspire-news/id733163167?mt=8

Android download - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.collectiveray.aspire

(via the-female-condition-deactivate)

4 months ago 312,361 notes

No limit!~

1.Kissed a girl?
2.Kissed a boy?
3.Had sex in public?
4.What’s your religion?
5.What does your URL mean?
6.Reason you joined tumblr?
7.Do you have any nicknames?
8.Do you like bubble bath?
9.Kissed in the rain?
10.Dyed your hair?
11.Soup or salad?
12.Vegetable or meat?
13.Go out drinking?
14.Smoke cigarettes?
15.Smoke weed?
16.Do any hard drugs?
17.Have you had sex today?
18.Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
19.The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
20.Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
21.Skipped doing homework to play a video game?
23.The last time you felt broken?
24.Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt?
25.Do you have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
26.Do you have Long hair OR short hair?
27.First thing you notice to a guy/girl?
28.Do you sing in the shower?
29.Do you dance in the car?
30.Where were you yesterday?
31.Ever used a bow and arrow?
32.Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
33.Do you think musicals are cheesy?
34.Is Christmas stressful?
35.Favorite type of fruit pie?
36.Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
37.Do you believe in ghosts?
38.Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
39.Take a vitamin daily?
40.Wear slippers?
41.Wear a bath robe?
42.What do you wear to bed?
43.Do you want to get married?
44.Can you curl your tongue?
Relationship preference:
45.How many relationships have you had?
46.How can I win your heart?
47.what makes a great relationship?
48.Shy OR open?
50.Religious OR non-religious?
51.Caring OR non-restricting of you?
52.Straight edge OR non-straight edge?
53.Piercings OR no piercings?
54.Tattoos OR no tattoos?
55.Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type?
4 months ago 570,434 notes

girl-thuggery:

strong-beautiful-desire:

<

blockquote>

petfag16:

xmessesofmenx:

Umm…

Is everyone clear on what’s going on in Russia with LGBTQ peoples. CAUSE YOU SHOULD BE. What’s going on is absolutely horrifically disgusting and it turns my stomach. Russia is home to people just like you and me except their government is telling them how they can and cannot live and who they can and cannot LOVE. This is heartbreaking. Ask yourself how you can help our Russian brothers and sisters. Lets not be quiet about this. We can all help.

Ways you can help:

REBLOG THIS POST.

VISIT allout.org This website will inform you of the chaos in Russia and other areas of the world where being gay is a crime. Help allout.org by donations and/or signing they’re demands to governments across the world for EQUALITY and PEACE.

BOYCOTT STOLI VODKA!!

LETS DO THIS BY THE MILLIONS.

It is just appalling to see how Russian youth are being brainwashed into a doctrine of hatred!  Our gay Tumblr community must know what is happening to our brothers and sisters in Russia.  Russia wants to be seen as a progressive country by hosting the Olympics, but with human rights being violated this way, Russia only appears barbaric to the free world and any right thinking person.  PLEASE, AT LEAST RE-BLOG THIS.

(via smellslikegirlriot)

4 months ago 254,930 notes